Family Night: Real Friends & Popularity

(Parents: Much of this lesson is discussion style. Look over the lesson beforehand and choose what is most effective to be sure and talk about for your family.)

Opening Song:

Give Said the Little Stream


Mosiah 23:7 - Ye shall not esteem one flesh above another, or one man shall not think himself above another.

One of my friends once stated that, "if you believe in a "popular" crowd you believe that some people are more important than others." Like if you; 

  • Caring about what the "popular" kids think 
  • Having a desire to be "popular"
  • Think that you are "popular"

The actual definition of being popular is being liked or enjoyed by many people. BUT contrary to what you might think "popular" people are not always happy. Sometimes they are trying so hard to get other people to like them that they forget to be themselves. 


(tip this video is good, it's 13 minutes long and you can get a lot from it just by watching the first half. Previewing it would be a good idea to see how much of it applies to your family)

I love that JP states, "To make real friends, be real. To make fake friends, be fake." AND that by being fake in relationships we can still feel incredibly lonely because it isn't the real me being a friend. The real me still wants a true friend.

By being ourselves we give other people permission to also be themselves. 

Optical Object Lesson:

Take a look at these photos. This is what it looks like when cattle farmers brand their cows. They do this so they can identify the cows they own. 


Question & Personal Experiences:

Can owning happen in friendship? If so, what does that look like? Has that ever happened for any of you?

  • (Parents this is especially a good time for you to share personal experiences that your children can learn from. Even if friends never really owned you, maybe they belittled you, or made little jabs BUT you didn't even see it for what it was until later in life. This is important for your kids to learn from.)

A few good rules of thumb for discussion: 

  • A good friend doesn't make fun of you
  • Friends don’t boss each other around
  • You should feel good around a person you call a friend
  • Good friends bring our the best in each other

What everyone really needs is their friend relationships to be fulfilled. To be kind, love others and share positive energy with those whom you associate. You need not worry about a popular crowd, or any crowd for that matter.


Elaine S Dalton - Sometimes our preoccupation is on having friends. Perhaps we should focus on being a friend. 


Putting your arm around someone and letting them know that they are ok with you. That there is nothing they need to live up to or do to to fit in with you. You might not really put your arm around someone but imagine what that looks like.

If you do this you will be surrounded by real friends and you will be changing lives.

To make friends here are a few tips:

  • Show interest in them
  • Give them genuine compliments and appreciation
  • Say their name 
  • Find common interests you can talk about (every single person has at least one thing in common.)


Dale Carnegie said, "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."

Here is the 1st family night in this series of friends.